Thursday, March 18, 2010

On Change

While talking with B last night, we hit upon the issue of major changes in our life and the value of keeping things the same. This led me to spend an inordinate amount of time today thinking about how, exactly, to assess whether it is wise to make a major change. One thing that occurred to me is that the weight of major changes- weddings, babies, illnesses, new jobs, moving, school- is somewhat relative to the number of times one has previously experienced them. A first baby can seem more monumental than a third. We have moved four times in six years. Another move, provided it was for the benefit of our family, does not seem all that impressive. Many people move yearly due to job-related necessity. Perhaps that is the critical point. Maybe the wisdom of making a major change is dependant upon the potential benefit compared to the potential drawbacks. I suppose it also depends on how much and for how long the change would alter daily life. As my friend Heather said, "You guys have figured out the hard stuff. Now, wherever you go, you'll move your daily life with you." What she meant was since I am not working anymore, our daily life wouldn't be altered that much regardless of where we lived.

Another variable is the value one would assign to a given option. After six years of trying to have both of us working, we now value peace, stability, and time as a familiy far above the $589 dollars a month that I made. (this figure does not deduct what it cost for me to work)

We were talking about this because rolling around in that nutty little head of mine is an idea that I can't let go of. We have come so far in making improvements to our life. We have these wonderful children, B is working on his Master's degree, I am totally at peace with my role, we have made the (well-informed) decision to homeschool, and we are generally healthy. We are also poor. Our collective student loan debt is larger than many people's first mortgages...and it is growing by the month. B's calling was not toward engineering. Or medicine. Or accounting. It was for counselling, and that is fantastic, but not generally lucrative. In fact it is usually well below lucrative. Regardless, I am greatful for his opportunity and supportive of him. It is wonderful to watch him do something he feels good about. I would even dare to say he is passionate about counselling. BUT....someday I hope we can retire together. Some day sooner we will need a different vehicle. I would like to be able to buy shoes for the kids when they need them. I hear teenagers eat alot, and I'd like to be able to feed them. Where is all this headed? Well, the only solution I can come up with is to decrease our expenses more. And the only way I can see to do that is to move. Again. Into a teeny little house that is owned by a friend of ours.

The size of the hypothetical house is another post entirely, so for now I'll focus on the benefits of re-relocating. In other words, the benefits of moving back to whence we came. The first benefit is time. Teeny House is 1 mile from B's office. B is gone a lot between work and school and this will continue for at least two more years. If we were closer to his office he could at least come home for dinner a few times a week. If a position opens at his current place of employ, we'd likely end up living there anyway. If not, he will be there until at least the latter half of 2012. The second benefit is that I would once again have immediate (and free ) access to my beloved Rec Center. I run- well, not much recently, but it is one of my favorite things to do. I didn't think that decreasing my workouts would matter when we moved to our current house. As it turns out, running is essential for my health in addition to being a major stress reliever and mood booster. The third benefit is money. Teeny House- or a similar arrangement- would free up $500-$700 dollars a month which could then reduce our student loan debt. This could also reduce my stress :). Something else that is kind of nice is that we have a network of people there. Oh- and Teeny House has a dishwasher. Who is not me.

So what are the cons to this proposal from my view? Another move, although to a familiar area. Most likely giving up a lot of living space. Being farther from B's parents again. Having to get rid of a lot of stuff if we did move to a small home. That, if B were to find a miracle job elsewhere, we may have to move again in two to three years. Fortunately with homeschooling we could maintain continuity in that area.

Hmmm....the benefits list is longer than the drawbacks list. Where to go from here...?

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