Friday, November 1, 2013

I left my baby with you. My tiny, fragile, dependent baby was left in your care.
It wasn't really care, was it?
I sensed them from the beginning...
...sensed something wasn't right...

But there was no concrete example to which I could point
for the source of my unease.

Perhaps it was what you were doing to her in the shadows.
Or the other infants left alone, in playpens, swings, and seats.
Or the constant illness.
Or the constant dirty diapers.
(We did speak with you about that)
No- wait- it was when you 'hid' my children so you would pass inspection.
(I thought that situation was suspicious)

My baby. He cried before and after going to you, when he was old enough to understand where he was going.
Oh! But you made everything look so good!

You cunningly hid.
You manipulated.
That you could lie so brazenly and believe your lies is fascinating.
Queen of the preemptive strike, as well.

Was it fun, thrilling, to trick the doctors?

They didn't always do what you wanted, did they?

My baby is okay. And no longer a baby. I know he wasn't abused, but likely neglected when tiny.
I often look at him and wonder if the differences are from that crucial time.

I hope she has peace, both now and later in life as she grapples with her memories.

You?.....There are no more words....

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